Divorce is one of the most life-altering events a man can experience, and for leaders, the impact is even more profound. You’ve spent years building your career, leading teams, and making high-stakes decisions—yet when it comes to your own relationship, the warning signs of an impending divorce may have gone unnoticed or, worse, been ignored.

I understand this deeply, not just as a coach but as someone who has lived it. I raised my son alone from the age of eight, navigating the emotional, financial, and personal upheaval that comes with divorce. I know what it’s like to be in the thick of it—to feel the weight of responsibility, the loneliness, the questions that have no easy answers. And I know the cost of the red flag being missed.

It’s easy to dismiss the slow erosion of a marriage when you’re focused on running a business, leading a company, or providing for a family. But when divorce comes—often initiated by a wife who has been quietly withdrawing for years—the fallout is immense. It affects not just your personal life, but your children, your finances, your mental health, and your career.

This isn’t just about heartbreak. It’s about recognising the warning signs early, understanding what’s at stake, and taking action before it’s too late.

Who Initiates Divorce—and Why?

The most common thing I hear is “I didn’t see it coming”

The statistics tell a clear story: 69% of divorces are initiated by women, a figure that rises to 90% among university-educated women.

Why? Because by the time a woman files for divorce, she has often spent years feeling unheard, unseen, or unfulfilled. The moment she tells you it’s over is not the moment she decides to leave—it’s the moment she’s finally acting on a decision she made long ago.

What’s Driving This Trend?

Emotional Disconnection

Women frequently cite emotional neglect as their main reason for leaving. This isn’t about grand romantic gestures—it’s about the daily experience of being truly present. If she’s been telling you she feels unheard, or if conversations have become purely logistical (“Did you pick up the kids?” “What time is your flight?”), your relationship is in dangerous territory.

Feeling Undervalued

Leadership demands can take their toll. You’ve spent years providing, but does she feel cherished? If her emotional needs have taken a backseat to your work, resentment builds. Over time, this emotional starvation leads to detachment, and by the time you notice, she’s already emotionally checked out.

Unfair Division of Labour

Even in high-earning households, many women still handle the majority of domestic responsibilities. If she’s working, raising children, and carrying the emotional weight of the family while you’re immersed in your career, she may eventually decide she’s done.
Financial Independence: Women today no longer stay in unfulfilling marriages for financial security. If she has her own career, leaving becomes less of a risk.

If you’re a man in leadership, your success at work may have given you the illusion that everything at home is fine. But power in the boardroom does not translate to security in a marriage.

The Mistakes Men Make When Their Marriage is Under Strain

When a marriage begins to feel strained, many men respond in ways that unintentionally drive a deeper wedge between them and their partner. One of the most common mistakes is seeking sex when what they truly crave is intimacy.

Sex can feel like a quick fix—a reassurance that the connection is still there, that the relationship hasn’t entirely fallen apart. But when a marriage is under strain, physical intimacy alone won’t heal the deeper emotional disconnect. What many men are actually yearning for is to be seen, valued, and emotionally connected. They mistake a lack of physical closeness as the problem, when in reality, it’s often a symptom of a much deeper issue.

Pushing for sex when emotional intimacy has eroded can make a partner feel misunderstood, unseen, or even used. Instead of reigniting the bond, it can reinforce the distance between you. What’s needed is vulnerability—a willingness to sit in the discomfort of disconnection and ask, What’s really going on? True intimacy begins with emotional presence, open communication, and showing up fully in your relationship beyond the physical. If you find yourself reaching for sex as reassurance, pause. Ask yourself: What am I truly seeking?

What Can You Do Now?

If you recognise these signs, you still have time to course-correct.

1. Prioritise Your Relationship

Treat your marriage with the same strategic focus as your business. If it’s failing, act now.

2. Listen—Really Listen

If she’s been telling you she’s unhappy, don’t dismiss it. Ask what she needs and act on it.

3. Acknowledge and Appreciate

I know first-hand how easy it is to take things for granted. When I was raising my son alone, I saw the value of every little thing—every packed lunch, every school run, every moment of support. But in a marriage, we can forget to say “I see you” to the person who is holding the home together. Your wife needs to feel seen, valued, and appreciated. This isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about consistently noticing and appreciating what she does. A simple, heartfelt “I see how hard you work for our family” or “I appreciate the way you support me” can rebuild emotional intimacy. Neglecting this step can leave her feeling invisible, which is often the beginning of emotional disconnection.

4. Seek Help

Don’t wait until she’s halfway out the door. A coach or men’s group can help you navigate this.

5. Be Present

Your presence is more than physical. Engage, connect, and show her she matters.

6. Don’t Wait for a Crisis

Prevention is easier than damage control. If you value your marriage, invest in it now.

7. Don’t stray

An affair rarely fixes a marriage, and the cost is far greater than a short-lived euphoric fling.

The Impact of Divorce on Children

Even when divorce is navigated well, the impact on children is undeniable. They often experience a sense of loss—loss of family structure, stability, and in some cases, time with one parent. No matter how much love and support is provided, children will feel the shift. They may struggle with feelings of guilt, confusion, or even misplaced responsibility for the breakdown of the marriage. Studies show that children of divorce are at a higher risk of anxiety and emotional distress, especially if they witness ongoing conflict between their parents.

I’ve seen this first-hand with my own son. Even with my absolute commitment to his well-being, the divorce shaped his life in ways I couldn’t control. There were moments of anger, confusion, and deep sadness. As parents, we must acknowledge this impact and create an environment where our children feel safe to express their emotions and work through the changes in their own time.

If you are a father going through divorce, remember that your children need consistency, reassurance, and an unwavering sense of your presence. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about being there.

Final Thought: Leadership Begins at Home

If you’re a leader, you already understand that success is about being proactive, not reactive. The same applies to your marriage.

You wouldn’t let a failing business go unattended until it collapsed—so why would you do that with the most important relationship in your life?

I’ve walked this road, and I can tell you that once divorce happens, everything changes. Your home, your finances, your time with your children—it all shifts. But it doesn’t have to end that way. There is still time to turn things around. The time to act is now.

Love and Blessings